This thing we had together? It’s over, starting now. I realize that this is difficult to hear, but this is an important step that I need to take in order to live my life to the fullest. I know that we have both felt that this relationship was necessary at times, however, I am recognizing that you really do not have my best interest at heart. I have relied on you in the past, thinking that you were helping me to be more productive and on point. I can see now that this is not the case, and when I thought that you were helping me get through my busy day, you were really just keeping me from being healthy and at peace. So this needs to end. Now.
From here on out, I’m making time for myself, which means I no longer have time for you or your drama. I’m committed to using my time to take care of my own needs. I will make time to exercise regularly and take care of my body. A brisk run or hike will let me clear my head and shut you up, because you will be drowned out by the beauty of my surroundings. Quick swims regularly will refresh me physically and spiritually. Yoga will help keep me fit, flexible, relaxed, and, perhaps most importantly, centered. After all, you can’t upset my balance when I am properly centered. With exercising for health a top priority, I will no longer allow you to butt in and monopolize my time.
Additionally, I am no longer going to feed you, but will instead nourish myself. I’m not going to give you the caffeine and sugar on which you thrive. These things make me feel hyped up and jittery, which creates too much of an illusion of productivity; all it really does is keep you active while I am unable to stop and collect my thoughts. Instead, I will pay attention to my nutritional needs and fuel myself properly by eating well, instead of grabbing the sweets and chips that you always offer me when I am in a panicked rush.
I am also going to stop feeding you needless worries. I have come to see that you thrive when I slip into the seemingly endless cycle of rehashing the same concerns. This process leaves me trapped, and does nothing to help me find solutions. To that end, I plan on writing out a list of these worries, so that I may deal with them rationally. I will address the ones that I can, and let go of the ones that are just a trap to bring you back into my life.
Instead of waking up early and feeding you worries and caffeine, I am starting my mornings differently. I am going to take this time to write in my journal. That way I get rid of all of my concerns without feeding them to you. This will also give me a chance to organize my thoughts and feel like a sane human being again. I can actually focus on positive aspects of my life, like what makes me happy, what relaxes me, and what allows me to feel truly fulfilled. This will help to reinforce my resolve to break up with you; it shows me on paper how strong and empowered I am when you are out of my life.
I know that you are not going to take this break up easily. I am already prepared for the fact that you will try to stalk me throughout the day. I know that you like to lurk around the workplace and in traffic, often with unpleasant surprises. But when this happens, I am armed with, and prepared to use, the restraining order that is my breath. Not only will I remind myself to breathe throughout the day, but I have learned how to breathe consciously. Any time I feel you start to creep up, I will just take a deep breath through my nose, hold it for a moment with good intent, and then exhale through my mouth to blow you and all of your negativity away. This will keep me strong when I am out and about, and make sure that you do not weasel your way back into a place where you are unwelcome.
I’ve learned over our many years together that you can be very crafty, but I am on to your tricks. Instead of surrounding myself with the noise and news that give you the keys to my living space, I’ve changed the locks. And know this: my home is locked up tight. It is now, and always will be, my place of serenity. Within my home, I will enjoy my downtime by listening to peaceful music and reading books that entertain, inspire, and invigorate me.
I am completely removing you from all aspects of my life, and this includes my bedroom. You are no longer welcome there either. My rest is absolutely necessary for me to function at my peak, and you have stolen it from me long enough. With you and your nagging gone, I can get finally get a good night’s rest. When I go to bed, you are completely left behind, because I will take step to ensure that my bedroom is my sanctuary. My computer, cell phone, and anything related to work and other stressors in my life will be placed in a separate room, so as not to distract me from my much-needed sleep.
While our relationship lasted for a very long time, it has never been a healthy one, so I am not sorry that it is over. I should have broken up with you a long time ago, but I am starting right now to let you go. I do not need you, and you no longer hold any power over my life. I am a whole person on my own.