Anyone can be amazing and everyone sees the rays of light, genius and love whenever they look at you. The secret is to shift from self loathing to self love. Happy and successful people have based their lives on a series of critical decisions that maintain their well being. Therefore, all the time you spend criticizing and doubting yourself is a tragic loss primarily because it is throwing a fresh moment of your life away. Here are some effective tips on what to do, how to act and what to think in order to truly love yourself.
How To Act And What To Think In Order To Truly Love Yourself
1. Tell yourself that you are good enough
Although this seems overly simplistic, it is extremely vital. Always tell yourself that you are good enough especially when you start feeling like you are not. This basically entails admitting your mistakes, accepting your flaws without hiding or lying.
The most effective way of growing stronger is simply dealing with your truth. It is important to understand that your mistakes won’t hour you. However, the cover-up and denial will. In fact, flawed people are likable, teachable and absolutely beautiful. Phonies and fakes are not. Listen to your inner voice, ignore all the distractions and mind your own business. You should never be scared to walk alone and love it. Other people’s ignorance, negativity and drama should not derail you from loving exactly who you are.
2. Believe that you are capable of overcoming all the challenges you face
People who truly love themselves understand that challenges are there to make life interesting and overcoming them makes it interesting. Your level of happiness and success is determined by how you deal with challenges.
Have fun with the troubles and challenges you face and conquer them in order to gain strength. Although you may not feel comfortable when dealing with challenges, it will certainly be worth it.
When emotional discomfort is accepted, it crashes and deposits treasures that you didn’t expect to find. Therefore, inexperience is replaced by awareness, frustration by resilience, and hatred by kindness. Although riding the waves of emotional discomfort in life is not easy, learning to tolerate the rhythm of emotional discomfort is helpful and necessary.
3. Choose responsibility over blame
When something goes wrong, self loving people usually look for ways to take blame rather than pointing a finger at others. They understand that placing blame and responsibility elsewhere does not solve the problem. It only stirs helplessness and anxiety. Therefore, by taking full responsibility you encourage acceptance and positive change rather than stewing in stagnation and sorrow.
Always remember that you are fully responsible for your happiness and success. The best part of your life starts when you understand that you are in full control of your life without anyone to rely on, lean on or blame. Although some challenges are tough, avoid looking to others for permission or following preordained paths. If you truly love yourself you should make your own game plan and rules.
4. Educate yourself
Life is a book. Therefore, if you don’t educate yourself you only read a few pages. However, people who know better live better and feel better.
It does not matter whether you are sitting in a coffee shop or college classroom; all education is self education. You can only earn true education by taking the initiative and time to pursue knowledge on your own.
One of the highest forms of self love is investing energy and time to improve yourself. Widely acclaimed entrepreneurs, scholars, historical figures and artists are products of continuous self education.
5. Feed your talents and passions
Your life can only be meaningful when you live it yourself. Everyone feels a tug of fascination and appeal toward some activity or idea. Therefore, you must choose the paths that feel right to you and not the ones that look right to others. Besides recognizing and respecting your inner longings as important, you should also devote your energy and time to nourish your desires.
Nourishing your inner hunger is more important than the fears you have about feeding what looks right to others. Self loving people live in the world as active participants and not as bystanders. Find out what is important to you and find the wisdom, willpower and courage to build your life around that.
6. Teach people how to treat you right
Figure out the people who are worth your attention and those who are taking advantage of you because no everyone appreciates your help and sacrifices. If you misspend your energy and time on wrong relationships, you will end up in a cycle of superficial romances and fleeting friendships that are meaningless. This leaves you wondering why you are always chasing affection.
This is the main reason why people who truly love themselves always approach relationships with self sufficiency and self respect. They don’t need or expect every person to like them. This helps you understand what you need to feel respected and loved. Therefore, in order to truly love yourself you must gently teach people around you about your boundaries. If they cross these boundaries repeatedly, you should have enough sense and courage to walk the other way.
7. Uphold your standards
It is dreadful to pretend that you don’t need respect and love when you actually do or convincing yourself that everything is okay when it is not. You should truly love yourself and avoid lowering your standards for wrong reasons in order to live honorably.
8. Ensure that you are engaged in the only moment that is guaranteed to you
If you value yourself, you value how you spend your time. This help you realize that the only moment you truly have is the present. Therefore, you must occupy the present moment fully. Lack of awareness is caused by the inability to focus and remain fully engaged in the present moment. This can also cause challenges in communication and trouble in your relationships. When you hide behind gadgets and avoid eye contact you lose the chance of experiencing real life and real relationships.
Self loving people understand that sometimes we will be stuck in the muck and fester for a while. Sometimes you may try to plan and control an outcome but some things will never happen until they are ready to. On the other hand, good things might end too soon. However, if you truly love yourself you should never fight it. You should understand that this is the time for self reflection, self renewal, and gratitude in preparation for a new chapter in life.
Photo: Lauren Lionheart